We all have conflicting opinions about many things. They fall into categories of minor, major, and that one's a deal-breaker.' These opinions are biases about the way we feel things should be. In my view, knowing more about how and why people have these biases has everything to do with knowing more about how to lead them
Not everything we do or every person we interact with daily is intentional or preferred. Most leaders think it just happens and it's part of their responsibility. In fact, that's not the case. Regardless of how, what or who, we make a conscious decision to engage. When we engage, something or someone somewhere else is penalized.
We're seeing many examples today (especially in Politics), where the desire to overachieve motivates Leaders to do so regardless of the cost, especially to people. At least in my lifetime, I'm distressed to see the culture of our government, organizations, churches communities, education institutions and especially our families, disrupted to a degree never experienced, all for the sake of destructive achievement.
There are so many perspectives on Leadership, and the old adage that perception is always reality hasn't been the case since the earth cooled. Your perspective depends on your point of reference, meaning that if you haven't experienced it, then you don't have a case. It's the same with Courage and the role it plays in Leadership.
Much like an Excel function, the art of Leading people depends upon what you put in relevant to what outcomes you want. It's different than Contingency Planning, which is more about process and operations. The technical side of things is easy. Something breaks, get a professional to fix it. There's never anything easy about the people side, especially if you don't know much about how character, behavior and culture determine outcomes.
Identity is how we view ourselves, reputation is how others view us. As the leader, which one is more important to you, because if you don't know the difference, you may be leading your people down the wrong path.
I don't subscribe to the theory that you need to confront negative behaviors in real time or they'll continue. There's more to it than that. It's about level of behavior, level of dysfunction created and opportunity for growth, both for the subordinate and for the leader.
Your Leadership journey can't be all about comparing yourself to others. You may be chasing what seems to be an ideal version, but in fact is a flawed and an unrealistic version of you. If you let the world, or any one single person or ideal, set your standards for you, then you'll start low and stay there.